You have probably become familiar with a ton of acronyms and the mental health diagnoses associated with them during the past decade, and especially the last three years. Once a taboo subject, mental health is now spoken of openly and widely and has taken a prominent place on the world stage from Hip Hop to Hollywood. The Covid-19 pandemic opened the door to a wider discussion, and according to The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, from August 2020 to February 2021“the percentage of adults experiencing recent anxiety or depression increased from 36.4% to 41.5%.”  In 2020 Congress designated the operation of 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline; and as of July 16, 2022, all phone companies and text messaging providers are required to route all calls and text messages to 988 to the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. The line offers confidential support to people in suicidal crisis or mental health-related distress twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Overall, acceptance and discussion of mental illness has come from behind closed doors.

In the Black community a mental health acknowledgment and the seeking of services have been off limits for eons. Such conditions have been seen as just another stigma to pile on top of all the others. Many in the community viewed any mental health diagnosis as a weakness, and therapy as the domain of Caucasians.  This line of thought has led to unnecessary and prolonged agony and possibly limited opportunities for Black mental health practitioners to serve those who look like them.  Fortunately, there were some who saw the future, earned the appropriate degrees, achieved the necessary clinical experience and hung up a shingle.  One such visionary is Dr. Samuel R. Aymer, a psychotherapist, author, public speaker and college professor.

So, here’s the story…

Since opening his psychotherapy practice more than three decades ago, Sam has helped adults, couples and families find their way to healthier and more productive lives. Over the course of thirty-two years his clients have included corporate executives to entertainment industry professionals, children to adults and people of various ethnic backgrounds, but it is his work in the areas of intimate partner violence and Black Men and social injustice that have brought him to international prominence. Sam’s breakthrough began with the New York Times 2002 article, Fierce Entanglements, by Deborah Sontag, where he discussed the need to help men who abuse their partners develop insights into their behavior and proposed the idea of rejecting the abuse, but not the abuser.  In 2011 the Journal of African American Studies published Sam’s article, “A Case for Including the "Lived Experience" of African American Men in Batterers' Treatment”. The writing was influenced by the violent episode between vocalists Rihanna and Chris Brown. His 2016 article, “I Can’t Breathe: A Case Study—Helping Black men cope with Race-Related Trauma Stemming from Police Killing and Brutality” was published in the Journal of Human Behavior in the Social Environment and widely cited by researchers and scholars. According to ResearchGate, a company that measures scientific impact, this article has been cited close to 175 times.

Prior to and between each of these writings Sam has been called upon to share his scholarship which centers on the intersection of masculinity, Black men and boys, race, intimate partner violence, fatherhood and psychotherapeutic interventions. His speaking engagements have taken place in several states nationwide as well as in South Africa, the West Indies and Canada.

For Sam, becoming a mental health professional is best described as a natural progression, rather than a childhood aspiration.  “In my youth I was always curious about human behavior.  As I grew older, I wanted to understand what was happening in society, if there were different types of understandings, and what was going on with people on an unconscious level.”  Additionally, he  says he knew there was pain people were experiencing, food and shelter alone were not enough to make one whole, and that people needed to focus on their mental health as well as their physical health. “Even though I didn’t have a language for any of this, I knew something was happening that needed explaining,” he says. “With all these thoughts I knew things had to align and years later they did,” he adds.

It All Came Together

First there were the teachings during his undergraduate education in social work. Then came his clinical experiences, and finally there was the visibility of Dr. Cecile St. George Henry, his graduate school professor.  Being in the presence of a Black man who had a successful practice showed Sam he could do the same. “Once I had the exposure, I saw a need for therapists in my community. Initially, I chose to work with Black boys because through my internships I felt these boys weren’t being seen. And through my training in family therapy, I recognized the importance of the family’s involvement in the therapeutic process,” he states.

As a Black man it is obvious why Sam chose to focus on the mental health of Black men and boys. When asked what made him choose to focus on women and domestic violence he replied, “I believe it chose me.  While I knew intimate partner violence was something women experienced, I had never thought about it as part of my career choice.  While working in the family law unit of the Municipal Employees Legal Services Plan, where women came in for services, it was suggested I participate in a weekend training, I protested and did everything under the sun to get out of it because I wanted my weekends to myself, but in the end I attended.  The focus was on working with male abusers. The presenter felt I had a knack for this work, encouraged me and became one of my mentors.  I’ve been working with men who batter ever since, and with women who are impacted by domestic violence. I also see a number of women in my practice for reasons other than domestic violence,” he adds.

For The Culture

While Sam’s clients come from all ethnic and racial backgrounds, he believes strongly in the need for mental health services within the Black community. “We’re human beings dealing with a host of things, and we tend to spend much of our time in a coping state. We need to thrive, not just cope, and to do so we need to have an outlet to sort things out. Growing up there was no room for mental health within my home or my community.  Now that the door is open and there are many Black therapists in practice, we can begin the process of healing and thriving,” he says.  In addition to individual, couples and family therapy sessions Sam has lead a closed psychotherapy group for Black men for the past 4 years.

Recent and Onward

In the fall of 2021 Sam added to his legacy with the publication of his first book, Intimate Partner Violence: Clinical Interventions with Partners and Their Children (Rowman & Littlefield). The book has been widely acclaimed and is used in curricula internationally.

In early 2022, Sam presented a scientific lecture, “Intraracial Dyads in the Therapeutic Encounter: What to Consider and What to Do” to the Rhode Island Association for Psychoanalytic Psychologies and served as co-editor for a special edition of the Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, published last spring. During the summer he presented two outstanding keynote addresses: “Race-based Trauma and its Impact on Clinical Work” during the inaugural annual conference

of The American Board of Clinical Social Work in Orlando, Florida, and “Black Boys & Men: Changing the Narrative” at the Chicago Social Work Conference where he centered the lived experiences of Black men and boys who must navigate the challenges of living in a hostile environment.

As 2022 was coming to a close Sam served as a panelist for the Moses Distinguished Visiting Professor Seminar, “Exit Wounds: Coping with the Penetrable Impact of Murder for Black Survivors of Homicide Victims” at the Silberman School of Social Work, Hunter College, in New York City.

After three decades Sam says he has met the goals he set for his practice and is now focused on other endeavors.  He’d like to hold large group sessions wrapped around a specific theme and held around certain actions, such as individual narratives and role play. He says he’d also like to write more books, including self-help, and maybe host a podcast, as an extension of his practice, to reach a collective.

In The Background

Sam earned his undergraduate and graduate degrees in social work at Adelphi University and his doctorate at New York University. His teaching career includes Fordham University Graduate School, Borough of Manhattan Community College and the City University of New York Bio-Medical Program. 

In the non-profit sector Sam served as the director of training for Victim Services (now Safe Horizon), unit supervisor for the Children’s Aid Society, clinical supervisor for the Fifth Avenue Center for Counseling and Psychotherapy and social work supervisor for the Episcopal Mission Society’s Foster Care Program.  Sam also served as a clinical consultant for the Urban Resource Institute’s School Based Anti-violence Program for more than a decade, and on the Board of Directors of Urban Pathways. He is the recipient of the SAGE/CSWE National Award for Innovative Teaching in Social Work and a Recognition Award from The New York Association of Black Psychologists.

In addition to his academic writings, speaking engagements and clinical practice, Sam teaches future therapists and social workers as an associate professor at the Hunter College Silberman School of Social Work.

It may sound like all work and no play, but it is not. In his free time Sam enjoys traveling, hosting dinner parties, attending Broadway theater, and on occasion, hitting the floor at a good old-school house music party.  He is also a patron of the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater.

Sam’s book, Intimate Partner Violence: Clinical Interventions with Partners and Their Children is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and other bookseller sites. You may follow Dr. Aymer on Instagram and Twitter.

© Jelani Bandele 2023 | Photos: Courtesy of Samuel R. Aymer and Silberman SSW on Twitter